Hosts: Kathie Lee Gifford (KLee), Tom Arnold (Tom)
Guest: Kyle Chandler (Kyle)
Notes: Interview takes place the Tuesday before Early Edition returns from an eight week hiatus. Tom Arnold is co-hosting today because Regis is on vacation in California. During the opening of the program, Tom and Kathie Lee discuss Tom and his current wifes efforts to conceive a child. Tom admits that they are having troubles in this department because he has a low sperm count - he has exactly 3 (he jokingly says). Also running throughout the show is Kathie Lee and Tom changing chairs in the middle of an interview to let the menfolk sit together. My local station decided to cram in one last commercial before Kyles segment, so I missed part of his introduction - nothing important, Im sure - just Kathie Lee talking. So without any further ado.....
KLee: .......Kyle Chandler, everybody.
{Enter Kyle wearing a gray-ish/brown suit, with white dress shirt and white T-shirt, brown shoes, and holding what appears to be a folded up piece of paper}
Kyle: Hello, everybody! {to audience}
KLee: Hi, Kyle.
Kyle: Hi.
KLee: Good to see you again. {smooch and handshake}
Kyle: Thanks, good to see *you.*
Tom: How are ya doin, buddy? {handshake}
Kyle: Pleasure to meet you.
Tom: Good to see you.
Kyle: How are you?
KLee: Oh, you havent met before, huh?
Kyle: Huh? {sits in tall chair}
KLee: {not paying attention to the answer} Good, good.
Tom: You get to sit by him.
Kyle: {getting settled in the tall chair with an old person noise} Aahhh.
KLee: So -
Kyle: {cutting in} Baseball season started. Im sorry to jump in.
KLee: No, no, thats ok.
Kyle: Im *very* excited about this.
Tom: Now you got tomorrows paper - who won?
Kyle: You know what Im excited about? Well, the Yankees {searches for a pocket to put the folded piece of paper} I, Im from Atlanta...
Tom: Oh, yeah.
Kyle: ...so, you know, the Braves, obviously, but itll be a new, ah...
KLee: Is that who they play today?
Kyle: ...new meaning to ah, the War of Northern Aggression.
Tom: Right.
Kyle: So, ah...
Tom: Exactly.
Kyle: {to Kathy, realizing she asked something} Im sorry?
KLee: Is that what you fought, ah.....
Kyle: fought?
KLee: Thats who theyre playing today?
Kyle: No. No, theyre not. Theyre playing Milwaukee.
KLee: Oh, oh.
Kyle: But, ah. But Im excited about this year.
KLee: Oh, see, I care - I care so much. {Not!}
Tom: Yeah.
KLee: Its the longest season, though. It starts in April, and its not even over till like the World Series in... October?
Tom: Right.
Kyle: Thats a long time.
Tom: But thats great.
Kyle: Thats good.
Tom: Its the Americas game
KLee: We love it.
Tom: We do love it.
KLee: Ok. Here we go again.
Tom: No, no, no, ah, geez. {Kathie Lee and Tom switch chairs to the guys can sit together and talk guy stuff}
Kyle: Now, about this sperm count. Ahh...
KLee: Let them bond. Hows *your* sperm count, Kyle?
Kyle: Ah, its good.
Tom: It is?
Kyle: Yeah.
Tom: You can tell us, its ok...
Kyle: No, its good - Ive got four, so...
Tom: Youve got four sperm?
Kyle: Yeah, yeah.
Tom: Oh, great!
Kyle: So, ah...
KLee: And one of them worked, cause you have a beautiful little girl, right?
Kyle: Ive got a little, little two year old two month girl, who, ah - its funny, I was just in the - when I was taking a shower this morning - theyre back in Chicago...
Tom: Please. Family show.
Kyle: But the funniest things that remind you of your family. Cause I looked down {simulating shower scene} and all of a sudden, my toenails on my left foot are orange, and the toenails on my right foot are, are, purple. Cause you know, she painted them all up and everything.
KLee: She painted them for you. {Awwwww}
Tom: Youve been hangin out with Rodman in Chicago, thats what youve been doin.
KLee: See, and I thought you had one of those weird athlete diseases on your feet.
Kyle: No, no.
Tom: {to Kathie Lee} Only *you* would know that.
Kyle: Its funny, though.
KLee: But you, you come from a, not a performing kinda family right? If I recall.
Kyle: No, its a family of, ah, of a Psychologist, a Chiropractor, and a Corporate Lawyer, so...
KLee: So, its about time for an actor.
Kyle: Yeah. Well, my one brother, the lawyer, hes a little bit of an actor, but, ah...
KLee: That helps in the courtroom.
Kyle: And Id like to say, ah, Happy Birthday to ah, Karen, whos my niece, whos 10 years old, so shes double digits now.
Tom: Oh, thats great.
KLee: Which means double the problems.
Kyle: Double, well, not for me, though. Thats *his* problem. Ive got another few years.
KLee: Yeah, but its only a matter of time for you.
Kyle: Thats true.
Tom: {out of the blue} Do you have a Regis story?
Kyle: {surprised!} Oh, how do you know this?
Tom: Oh, I was reading the card over there.
Kyle: Oh, alright. I get tomorrows paper, but woah {giving a thats really freaky gesture}
KLee: Once in a while I should look at those.
Kyle: Well, Gar, Gary Nelson, our producer, and, ah, director as well. He, ah, he informed me that he was directing Get Smart at one point and Mister, Regis was on the, on the show.
KLee: *Mister* Regis?
Kyle: Mister Regis - Mister Philbin.
Tom: Sounds like a hairdresser.
Kyle: And he wanted to ah, put a tin, ah, tin pie of whipped cream into, ah, Don Adams face.
KLee: Right.
Kyle: And it... I guess, they were, ...well, I dont know... but he went along and did it, and someones nose got broken. *Thats* how I understand the story. Now, I wanted to tell the story when he was here, obviously, but... Its not...
Tom: Well, youre working it out now...
Kyle: Yeah, ok.
Tom: ...and by the time *he* gets back here, its gonna be *sharp.*
Kyle: Im gonna walk on the show and boom {simulates a pie in his face}
Tom: Yeah, exactly.
KLee: Well, hes probably watching in California.
Tom: You know he is.
KLee: And hes gettin a huge laugh out of it. Hes remembering.
Tom: You know he is.
KLee: I just heard today that Don Adams is gonna finally get his star on the Walk of Fame.
Kyle: Really?
Tom: Oh, Don Adams is so funny. Hes a great comedian. That show was so funny. Hes a legendary guy.
KLee: Well, thats good to know you feel that way about him because theyre writing to all of his friends for money for the fund for the Hall of Fame.
Tom: Alright, well. You and I - whatever you do, Ill do. Course you got 120 million, so...
KLee: Thats right. I can barely spend it fast enough. {Speaks to Kyle again} Now, what are you gonna do at the end of the season?
Kyle: Ahh, end of the season, we are going to, ah... Im gonna relax. Im gonna relax.
KLee: Been workin rough hours?
Kyle: Yeah, its been a, were at the end of, you know weve got two more shows to go, thatll be 22 all together for the year, and we get a couple months off...
KLee: And an hour drama is grueling, isnt it?
Kyle: Hopefully have a, have another honeymoon, and, you know...
Tom: Same wife? Same wife?
Kyle: Same wife, yeah.
KLee: But maybe make another baby.
Kyle: Maybe. Maybe.
KLee: Well talk about that when we come back, ok?
Kyle: Makin babies.
{Commercials}
KLee: The audience is all excited because Venice just did an a cappella version of the Star Spangled Banner that was awesome.
Kyle: It was amazing.
KLee: Alrighty. But, Kyle - lets go to a clip here and talk about your show.
Kyle: Ah, yeah. This is a crossover show that we did with Chicago Hope ah, and, ah, its a, its a curse of the mummy ah type of deal. And, ah, it was a fun show to do. We - the strangest thing is that, we went back to Los Angeles, ah, and so we were on the set of Chicago Hope, with *their* actors, but it was *our* show. So it was just...
KLee: We do that a lot here.
Kyle: It was very strange.
KLee: Yeah.
Kyle: Yeah, it was awfully, ah... {responding to Kathie Lees comment} yeah - Im on your show....
KLee: But you shoot in Chicago?
Kyle: We shoot our whole show in Chicago.
KLee: But Chicago Hope shoots in L.A.
Kyle: In L.A. Of course. That only makes sense. Yeah.
KLee: Seinfeld shoots in L.A. and its about New York.
Kyle: Yeah.
KLee: So, anyway, its a cross story, and you set up the clip for us.
Kyle: Yeah, the cross-, the story is that, ah, my ah, my friend Shanesia ah, whos blind, shes sick in the hospital. And it has to do with the, the unearthing of these artifacts. And, ah, we have determined that, ah, theres a curse or theres a reason behind it.
KLee: Oooh.
Kyle: Ah, but at this point, were, were finding out from the doctors *exactly* what it is th-thats wrong with her.
KLee: Ok.
Tom: Lets check it out.
KLee: From this weekends edition.........of Early Edition.
{Kyle smirks at her miss-speak)
{Clip of Mums the Word episode of Early Edition is shown. Scene where Gary tells the doctors about the mummy exhibit possibly being cursed.}
Tom: Oh, yeah. By the way, the, ah...
KLee: Oh, yeah. Explain that one, baby.
Kyle: Dont ask me how I know, but I do.
KLee: So are you gonna be helping CBS, ah, ah, celebrate 50 years of, ah...
Kyle: Yeah. 50 years, ah...
KLee: ...entertaining folks?
Kyle: ...CBS has got different shows which theyre gonna bring, ah, back characters from past shows...
Tom: I wonder if theyll bring back characters from *my* show on CBS.
Kyle: Were, yeah. Well, I dont know.
Tom: Thirteen episodes we did. Anyway...
KLee: Hey, but they were fine.
Tom: They *were* fine, yes.
KLee: Early Edition returns this Saturday, CBS at 9 pm.
Kyle: At 9 pm, yeah. Seven new shows, we, theyre really good shows.
Tom: Seven new ones? Weve yet to see?
Kyle: Yeah, yeah. Were gonna have some great...
Tom: Oh, thats great!
Kyle: ...were gonna have some great ones...
KLee: Have a great vacation with your family, Kyle.
Kyle: Thank you very much. {to audience} Thank you!
KLee: Well be right back.
{The End}
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